As I sit here I begin thinking about motherhood...could I really see myself as someone's mom??? Over the years I have always made it very clear that I do not want kids but as I get older my sentiments are changing. Driving to school I may see a mother walking her daughter to school and I think how cute, I would love to experience that and then I stop and think...nah not me I don't want to be a mommy. I have been reading about how amazing and life changing becoming a mother is and my heart feels warm and I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I begin to realize that I DO one day want to be rewarded with a precious little angel.
(image from Google)
I want to do what God has made us to do...reproduce. How powerful is that gift/blessing? Being able to bring a human being in this world is one of the biggest sacrifices, responsibilities and gifts anyone could ever experience. I want to feel my seed growing inside of me, I want to experience crazy midnight cravings, getting as big as a beach whale while making my husband tell me how beautiful and sexy I am, wearing maternity clothes, being able to be fat and it's ok, crying over any ridiculous thing I encounter, my husband at my disposal, parking in the mothers expecting space, driving my mom crazy and being super bitchy. Yes I have a lot to look forward too, I can't wait!
I want to experience the bond of mother and child, I want to experience the love and survival instinct you get when becoming a mother, I want to watch my child grow and experience life, I want to teach them life lessons, send them to their grandmas house, ground them, and do all the things my mom did with me. I have seen mothers speak of motherhood and they glow when describing the unconditional love and much rewarding sacrifice from becoming MOM.
I mean look at the angel in the picture...that look alone makes you melt and want to cuddle with her all day long.lol
Am I saying that I am ready to be a mother right now...HELL NO! What I am saying is that one day I will become the wife of the man of my dreams and we will create the most precious and loved human being. I will love them forever, I will love them for always! I will be the best mom with God and Prozac's help. (just kidding). Creating an extension of me will be my biggest and most rewarding accomplishment! Loving and reproducing is what comes most natural to us and I one day will be able to hear a little voice calling me mommy and it will forever be that I will always be yours and you will always be mine!!!
Years from now when I'm ready to get married and start a family the question of AM I READY TO BE SOMEONE'S MOMMY will be answered!!!
Until then...I'm fine with the occasional babysitting.
~Courtney
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