MOTHERHOOD...AM I READY?

Sitting in the bed on this dreary Saturday afternoon catching up on a few of my favorite blogs and I came across several posts on motherhood and how being a mother is the best reward life has given.

As I sit here I begin thinking about motherhood...could I really see myself as someone's mom??? Over the years I have always made it very clear that I do not want kids but as I get older my sentiments are changing. Driving to school I may see a mother walking her daughter to school and I think how cute, I would love to experience that and then I stop and think...nah not me I don't want to be a mommy. I have been reading about how amazing and life changing becoming a mother is and my heart feels warm and I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I begin to realize that I DO one day want to be rewarded with a precious little angel.

(image from Google)

 

I want to do what God has made us to do...reproduce. How powerful is that gift/blessing? Being able to bring a human being in this world is one of the biggest sacrifices, responsibilities and gifts anyone could ever experience. I want to feel my seed growing inside of me, I want to experience crazy midnight cravings, getting as big as a beach whale while making my husband tell me how beautiful and sexy I am, wearing maternity clothes, being able to be fat and it's ok, crying over any ridiculous thing I encounter, my husband at my disposal, parking in the mothers expecting space, driving my mom crazy and being super bitchy. Yes I have a lot to look forward too, I can't wait!

 

 I want to experience the bond of mother and child, I want to experience the love and survival instinct you get when becoming a mother, I want to watch my child grow and experience life, I want to teach them life lessons, send them to their grandmas house, ground them, and do all the things my mom did with me. I have seen mothers speak of motherhood and they glow when describing the unconditional love and much rewarding sacrifice from becoming MOM.

 

I mean look at the angel in the picture...that look alone makes you melt and want to cuddle with her all day long.lol

 

Am I saying that I am ready to be a mother right now...HELL NO! What I am saying is that one day I will become the wife of the man of my dreams and we will create the most precious and loved human being. I will love them forever, I will love them for always! I will be the best mom with God and Prozac's help. (just kidding).  Creating an extension of me will be my biggest and most rewarding accomplishment! Loving and reproducing is what comes most natural to us and I one day will be able to hear a little voice calling me mommy and it will forever be that I will always be yours and you will always be mine!!!

 

Years from now when I'm ready to get married and start a family the question of AM I READY TO BE SOMEONE'S MOMMY will be answered!!!

 

Until then...I'm fine with the occasional babysitting.

 

 

~Courtney

DAMN UNPRETTY...

I was in the car the other day and TLC Unpretty came on. I was listening to the lyrics and I realized how important the message of this song is to the youth and a lot of grown ass women today. Check out the lyrics to the song below:

 I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Every time I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

[Chorus]
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that mac can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I, too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm in stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I can't believe I'm trippin'

[Chorus: x2]

As I reflect back on what I've used and abused
And detect that I need some clues to get through
To those that accused me of never being true
I'll lose if I play into this game and never know the rules
So how do I bring out the me nobody sees
The forest for the trees, how 'bout the woman behind the weave
The light from within this life is the only real remedy
Or find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

 

 

This song is a perfect reflection of how men are dictating what women in society should look like. I don't want to stereotype my men so fellas if this doesn't apply to you, know not to take it personal. Anyway, men have led women to believe that you are not "bad', "dope", "fine', "beautiful", "gorgeous", if you don't possess beautiful glowing light skin, a nice rack(breasts), flat stomach, small waist, big hips and a donkey booty(thanks Phaedra)lol Men lets keep it real...you expect all of this from us but exactly what are you bringing to the table? The last time I checked none of you were Idris Elba so you have some nerve.lol

 

Back to being serious...women have accepted these ridiculous expectations from men and have accepted making drastic changed to their bodies in order to fit in with society standards. It is time to pinch yourself and wake up ladies. Like the lyrics in this song, do not lose who you are and the beauty that you hold in order to try to please a man. We must accept our beauty and take on the mindset that....I KNOW MY CREATOR DIDN'T MAKE NO MISTAKES ON ME!

 

We need to acknowledge the beauty inside, a man can use up all the beautiful "PARTS" of your exterior but having dignity, a sense of self worth and love for your self is something no one can tarnish unless you let them. We need to inform our young ladies that you set your standards never let a man set the standards for your life!

 

Set your standard for beauty and rock the hell out of it! An amazing man will acknowledge your beauty from the inside and then admire your outer beauty. Give yourself the Power, never give someone the power over you.

 

 

Food for Thought!!!

 

~Courtney

In that MOMENT...

In the heated moment of battle between two lovers are all bets off? Do the gloves come off and any harsh, foul, and unthinkable shot, fair game???

Uhhhhhh NO!!!! Well in my eyes you should never say harsh and foul things to your lover because in that one moment you are going to say something one day that your mate will NEVER forget! That harsh and unforgettable statement will crush your lovers heart and they will hold it against you for the rest of your life.
*** OK, I can hold a grudge...for a really long time.lol
I'm a hopeless romantic and when I think of love I think the opposite of Tina Turners " What's love but a second hand emotion" I think of love as our life line, loving someone is what comes most natural to us. And when it comes to falling in love with that special someone ...

My sentiments exactly!!! When arguing with your mate these emotions don't go away, or do they? When you say the most unthinkable comments to break down your mates spirit does that really equate love??? Are you really showing your love by intentionally hurting your mate?

 

My thoughts...If you "LOVE" me you would never intentionally say things that would crush my spirit, dig at my insecurities, taunt my biggest fears and question my love for you. I am aware and a victim of sometimes saying things during an argument that I later apologize for because it may have been inappropriate but I have never went for the juggler. I would never want to hurt my mate, my lover, best friend, confidant, my boo-thang. 

 

Proving that you love me is being able to be angry with me and still guard my feelings in the process. Knowing that I am vulnerable and that you would never use any of my vices against me in order to win a fight. Loving me past my error and accepting me as I am.

 

Giving up on your mate is losing consciousness and allowing yourself to demean and crush the one you love. Through adversity and tests that are presented in relationships, as a unit your responsibility is to work through the pain and accept each situation as it is. In arguments you win some and you lose some but to disrespect and give up on your mate by saying the unthinkable is unfair.

 

After an argument where your mate has spun out of control, lost consciousness and said the unthinkable what do you do?

 

In that moment you realize how fast  love can turn to hate, and if you are willing to give up or fight for what you two share.

 

One part of you wants to say fuck off, and  keep it moving with your life but that other half of your heart is saying I Love Him!!! Which side of the heart do you compromise...

 

Love is a tricky thing, at one moment they are the love of your life and they complete you, they are everything you dreamed in a man or a woman and are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Until that moment when love has been deceived by that very person, and your thoughts of them change forever.

 

The deciding factor is time, deciding if this is really the person you want as a mate, and will you be able to forgive that unforgivable comment...IN THAT MOMENT???

 

 

Are you able to revive a relationship after the unthinkable was said IN THAT TRAGIC MOMENT?

 

feel free to comment below:

 

Thanks for reading!!!

 

~Courtney